It’s not babysitting, it’s parenting

Finding out you are about to become a parent can be overwhelming. I couldn’t help but feel anxious initially when I found out I was pregnant. I was stressed, stressed about everything. How safe is my car? Am I exercising enough? Should I be eating this? Then those thoughts start to evolve. For example, will I be a good mum? What will happen to my ambitions and what will happen to my individuality? How will I cope or will I be able to cope at all? Then the more taboo for some but definitely the most realistic questions I asked myself began to cross my mind like, what will happen to my relationship? Will it survive the testing moments and will we both share the load successfully? Will we be tired but happy or will we simply fall a part?

I knew deep down I had nothing to worry about, yet I did. I had doubts about how well my other half would take to being a parent. I questioned my abilities as well but confidently assumed I would get the hang of it no matter what. These thoughts, emotions and fears were embarrassing. If I was him I would have found them insulting. Why? well I have never seen such happiness, readiness and pure joy within my other half, then during the moment he found out he was going to become a father and the moment she was born. It was such a strong and binding moment we shared.

Perhaps it was the unfortunate circumstances I knew others had been in or, the amount of television shows and movies I had seen, where the father chose to be absent and it made me feel I had to question his abilities. Why else would I think of such things, he only ever proved to be ready even more ready then I was. Looking back now I’m ashamed I ever had those doubts, I’m sorry.

It wasn’t until I saw how well we were doing as first time parents, did I realise this is what parenting should be. Don’t be mistaken we are far from perfect but when I fall he catches me and when he sinks I pull him straight back up. Each day my other half takes care of us the best he can and I now have NO DOUBTS for the rest of our lives he will continue to be this way.

As he always says, “Only the best for my girls”

I wake up everyday knowing I can rely on him 100 percent, not just to fill in the blanks but to be a parent. We tackle everything about parenthood together. It’s not always a 50/50 situation and it will never be, some weeks I’m riddled with exhaustion and others he is, together we bare it all.

When I need a moment he is always there to be with our daughter, interacting with her and never asking me when I’ll be back. You may think I’m being modest but more times then I can count he puts me up on a pedestal as a parent and well in my mind he’s right there next to me, gold medals for us both.

My career goals are constantly being encouraged and my identity is still intact. If anything, my partner and my daughter have improved who I am as a person. He was right, we became better individuals and more importantly we became a team. So if you are reading this thinking I’m lucky, I wouldn’t call it luck I would say it’s how it should be. For all the times he has praised me as a parent he deserves every bit of applause back at him, because that’s our job now to fulfill the roles as parents. We don’t need to single each other out and be better than one another, we just do what needs to be done for our family. But he does deserve to be acknowledged for always making me feel like a million bucks!

So to my partner I want to say, take the time to recognise you are an amazing parent just as much as you see me as one.

I love you, for you, for everything you do for me and for everything you do for us.